Announcement

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Laura Milner

IMG_3439_edit.jpgSo here it is! I told you over a month ago my family was praying on a life changing choice. We have decided that the next little Milner will be adopted. For some of you this is a huge surprise. But for those of you who have known us for any length of time would know that we have always talked about adopting at least one child. And we are excited that God has made that time now. We are looking forward to welcoming a little boy into our home! But the road ahead is LONG and promises to be ROUGH.

Two years ago my husband and I sat through a heart wrenching sermon about adoption. We both went home in tears and prayed to God to see if adoption was what God wanted for our family. At the time I was nine months pregnant with my son Eli.  My husband and I both agreed that adoption was what God wanted for our family but for now we needed to concentrate on the birth of our son and getting through the new born phase. This was a really hard decision for us to make. Knowing that God wanted us to adopt a child, but also knowing we had to wait. If you know me, you know waiting isn’t my favorite.

Since then God has kept adopting a child in my heart. I was asked to photograph a adoption conference where I learned so much about foster care and adoption, and I also served in an orphanage this past summer in Poland. While serving there I was asked by several children, if I could take them home to America with me. It broke my heart. But pushed me to learn more about adoption and helping children in need.

God kept pushing my heart toward adoption. At the beginning of 2012 my husband and I sat down and prayed and planned the year ahead. I told you all about it in the post Making My Days Count. During that dream session we both wanted another child in 2012, but weren’t sure if a biological child was what God had planned for us. We decided to pray separably and talk about it more a few weeks later.

Well, God did an amazing thing. We both felt ready and felt God calling us to become foster parents so we could adopt a older child (9months-4years old). We decided that there are so many older children who need forever homes and we wanted to be a forever family for a older child.

If you follow my blog I typically write two or more times a week. I love writing and encouraging all of you. But since January I have barely written. And now you know why. My family has taken the past three months to spend more time together as a family, to pray, research, find an agency and prepare our hearts for what will be coming next.

Over the past few months we have been preparing our home for another child, doing TONS of paper work, meeting with friends who have adopted, reading countless blog, and getting certified in CPR and First Aid. And last night we finally we able to start the four weeks of classes that are required to become foster parents. We are going through an amazing Foster/Adoption agency Aspiranet. They have been a God send, they have held our hand through making this decision and have answered so many questions.

My family and I want to ask for your support and prayers. This will be a long road, and it won’t be easy. We NEED your prayers. We need your partnership and encouragement. If you have any advice or could point us to blogs or people that could help please comment or send me a message. We believe that with so many brothers and sisters in Christ praying with us we can get through this and bring a child into our family and our hearts.

Thank you for putting up with the blog silence of the past few months. It was much needed so I could be focused on my family and the exciting changes in store. But now that the ball is finally rolling I will be back with new topics to discuss and new encouragement for all of you.

Thank you again for your love and support!

 

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Will Be Back Soon

Posted on February 16, 2012 by Laura Milner

Sorry that I have been silent for a few weeks. God is doing BIG things in my family right now, and I can’t wait to tell all of you about it. But for now. Please pray for us as we seek to follow God’s plan for our life!

Thanks for being a loyal reader!

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How Serving Has Impacted My Life

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Laura Milner
I was asked to be a guest blogger on Randumblog. Nate the owner of Randumblog wanted me to write about how serving impacts my life as a volunteer. So here’s what I wrote.
How Serving Has Impacted My Life
I started volunteering in my high school youth group when I was 16 years old. I felt God’s call on my life to serve and jumped in, I started leading games and being a part of the planning of our weekly meetings. It was one of the most life changing choices I ever made in my life and would set the tone for who I would become as an adult. And now 12 years, a marriage, 2 kids and 3 ministries later I can say that being a volunteer is one of the best decisions I have made in my life. 

Now I could write a whole blog post on how volunteering can be hard and how I’ve been broken by God, how I’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking and praying for the teens I minister to, I could go on and on about how many times I’ve almost walked away from serving. But if you’ve been serving for any period of time you already know the struggles, I want to tell you is that serving made me who I am today and I wouldn’t change that for anything. 

Making the choice to serve as a life style has filled my life with adventure, friends, mentors and opportunities that I would have never had, had I not been a volunteer. Choosing at a young age to be a part of a ministry helped me survive my teens. If I wasn’t plugged in and discipled by some amazing leaders I would have walked down the wrong path and could have completely walked away from my faith. Serving is also how I have made life long friends and most importantly where I met and fell in love with my husband. My children have been raised in service, helping wrap gifts for underprivileged kids, to helping me fold youth event fliers to sitting in awe as they watch dear friends preach their hearts out on stage. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t a volunteer. 

If I didn’t volunteer in church my life would look completely different. I know I wouldn’t have married my husband, and I know I would have made choices that I may not have been able to recover from. Volunteering is a life style for me, not a weekly commitment. I take the call on my life seriously. I have a deeper intimacy with my Savior because I serve, I am constantly growing in my walk with Christ, I am encouraged and challenged by the people I serve with and most of all I get to watch Gods church grow. 

I know too many Christians who are simply content with attending church on Sunday morning and living their life without giving back. And to be honest it makes me really sad. Not only are they robbing others of their God given talent, not only are they robbing themselves of friends and growth, they are robbing God. Yes, I said that! Choosing not to serve when God has called you to, is robbing God. You are robbing Him of using you, robbing Him of stretching you and making you grow. And most of all you are robbing God of the opportunity to work miracles in the lives of others through you. We are ALL called by God to seek and save the lost, we are ALL called to give unconditional love as Christ did! It is shameful how many Christians forget or don’t care to give as God gave.

You might think, the church really doesn’t need another person. But that’s a lie. God only created one YOU, and He wants to use YOU. Being a volunteer will change your life, it will stretch you further then you have ever been stretch. Being a volunteer allows God to move in you and through you. Don’t rob the world of Gods gift, YOU!
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100th Post

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Laura Milner

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say “I used everything you gave me.”

That is my hope and constant prayer for my life. I want to run the race with endurance and be the person God created me to be. Praying that God uses this simple blog and it’s simple author to change lives for His glory.

100 posts, 1 year, 14 guest bloggers, countless emails and tweets, readers from around the world… one true God changing lives and Strengthening the Chain of believes!

This is my blog, my passion and my  heart.

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Making My Days Count

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Laura Milner

IMG_0732.JPG I wanted to wait a week before I wrote about my dreams for 2012. I know the internet was flooded with blog posts about New Years resolutions earlier last week and I thought mine would just get lost in the shuffle. So here I am a week into 2012 and super excited for what God has in store for me, my family,my friends, my blog, my disciples and my life!

This year Discovery Church is starting a three month journey called “Life Map”. Most people spend more time planning a one week vacation, then they do planning their one and only life. I’m excited about this series and where it will take us as a family and as a church. I’m a planner and I always think one step a head, but the idea of planning my life God’s way will be awesome growth for me.

Pastor Todd said this week “When you count your days, you make your days count.” Really made me think. I mean you only get one January 10, 2012. You will never live this day again. You can’t go back. So make it count. I’ve written that quote on the chalk board in my kitchen, because I want to live that out this year and for years to come.

On the last day of 2011 my husband and I went on a coffee date, just the two of us, to plan and dream for 2012. It was a great time of prayer and dreaming. Here are our goals and dreams for 2012.

The Milner Train Dream List for 2012

DSC_2694ps.jpg Daniel- For his new web design business to thrive. That he would enjoy his new partnership and stretch as a web designer. That this business would be a blessing to our church and that it would be able to help contribute money to the family budget. And to do more at church with his talents. Serving and helping more on the tech side of things. 

DSC_2516ps.jpg Laura- That 2012 would be a year of growth. That she would travel to at least one church to speak. That she would be able to attend at least one youth conference. That she would have more opportunities to speak locally. That her photography business would grow and become more of a steady income. That she would write more on her blog and in her journal, with hopes to turn her writings into a book (someday). 

DSC_2449ps.jpg Sienna- That she would become more independent, make more friends. That she would be able to stand up for her self and become more of a leader at school. As parents we want to encourage her in her dancing and help he grow in her art and writing. We want her to be able to tie her own shoes and memorize more scripture.

DSC_2863ps.jpg Eli- That he would be able to sleep in a big boy bed. Be potty trained and start preschool in the fall. Our hopes is for him to not be as clingy to mama and be content with playing on his own. That he would learn more words, be able to communicate more with his words and be gracious in sharing.

DSC_2662ps.jpg Family- In 2011 we made a goal to have two days a week that were “family” days. And we met that goal and our family thrived because of it. We want to have more family days and be more intentional in what we do together, reading more and playing outside more. We also want to pay off one credit card completely in 2012 and buy another vehicle.

Now I know that we may not complete all these goals, but if we didn’t dream about them and talk about them, I know we wouldn’t achieve them. Praying over this list and setting goals as a family will help us make our days count. I am blessed to live this life and I don’t want to waste it.

Two reasons why so many new year resolutions fail is because you try to do it on your own and because life gets so busy that you just forget. We have created a few ways to help us keep our goals insight. Maybe these will help you.

1. My husband and I prayed about the coming year before we talked about our goals. We didn’t just make a list of wants, we came to the table with what we felt God was calling us to do in 2012, not necessarily what we wanted for 2012. Living in Gods plan for our life is always more achievable then, trying to live in our plan for our life. Keeping Jeremiah 29:11 in mind, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Our family is in Gods hands, He has the plan, we just want to live it. 

2. We have committed to a weekly coffee date. Each week Daniel and I are going to have a 30 minute date, just to talk about our family, life and goals. This way we keep our goals and dreams in focus. We can pray together and readjust our plans to what God wants for our family. I am really excited about this and we have already reaped the benefits in just one week! I think it will strengthen our relationship and help us be on the same page as parents. I mean really, doesn’t everyone have 30 minutes in their week to spare? Use it wisely. That’s just like giving up one TV show a week, you can do that. Be intentional with your time!

3. We wrote down our goals. There is something about writing it down that helps you remember. I keep journals and I write on this blog, writing our goals down makes it real. Being able to look in my journal and read it over and over again will help me not lose sight of our hopes for 2012. Plus we will be able to look back and see where God has taken us and be thankful for what He has done in our lives. 

I am excited to live my life in 2012. I know it’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but I do know that God is in control, He has a plan and it is my hope that we live it. I pray that you will make your days count in 2012. It’s not too late to sit down and dream. Come to God with a open heart, thank Him for what He has done and what He will do. Pray for your hopes and meditate on His words and map out your life for 2012.

It’s day 10 of 2012, how are you going to make it count?

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My First Prayer

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Laura Milner

This week my youth pastor gave a awesome sermon on the power of prayer. It was great and got me thinking about how God has worked in my life through prayer. I have countless stories of how God worked in BIG ways in my life through prayer. And today I want to tell you about one story in particular.

I talk to God all through out the day, it’s like I have a on going internal dialog with Him. It seems like I have always had this kind of relationship with Him from as far back as I can remember.

“Faith is the doorway to a miracle and Prayer is the key that unlocks the door.” -Kevin Lewis

Kevin said the quote above during his sermon on prayer and for some reason it instantly reminded me of the first time I ever remember praying. Do you remember the first time you prayed? I do…

_MG_6064.JPGI was four years old or maybe five, and I am sitting in the back of my mom’s closet with two of my sisters. I’m scared, but feel some comfort because  the clothes smell like my mom. I can hear people screaming, and the horrible sounds of gun shots outside. I don’t how or why this was all happening. But I do remember this being one of the scariest moments of my life, because the gun shots weren’t coming from some stranger, they were coming from my biological dad’s gun. Someone that I thought loved and cherished me, was now putting me in danger.

I sat there shaking and squeezing my eyes shut trying with all my might to be invisible. Doing everything in my power to not move and not make a sound. I kept thinking: Would he come in the house? Would someone ever come and get us? Who is going to protect us? I remember in that moment talking to God. I had never been to church, never heard the bible read, but for some reason I knew there was someone out there, someone who could hear me.

I prayed, even though i didn’t know what that meant or who I was really talking to. But I prayed, I prayed someone would come, that it would be ok and that we would be safe. It felt like we were in that closet for an eternity, it seemed like the screaming would never stop, but the only thing that kept me from screaming was continually talking to God. And finally someone came and literally scooped all three of  us up and we were in a car driving away from the horrible scene. A friend of my moms came and got us before police came. We were safe, and I knew that someone (God) had heard me and that He was real.

It wasn’t until I was nine years old that I truly understood who Jesus was and excepted Him as my Savior. But in that moment in the back of a closet I met God, and I learned the power of prayer. God was real, and He heard me.

“Faith is the doorway to a miracle and Prayer is the key that unlocks the door.” This sentence is powerful and when I heard it I was suddenly transported to this horrible moment in my childhood. Although this may be the darkest memory of my life, it’s truely the first memory I have of realizing there was a God. I had faith in something I knew nothing about.

It says in Mark 10:15, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” My childhood innocence died that night. But my childlike faith came to life. Through that faith and prayer God worked a miracle, no one was hurt that night and my heart was turned toward Him. It was from that faith I found myself walking to a little local church at the age of six and giving my life to Christ at the age of nine. Although my childhood was taken from me, I find joy in the fact that even as a adult God has guarded my child like faith.

Prayer holds power, and as adults we try to crack the code. Try to figure out how to pray “correctly” in order to get what we want. We also treat prayer like a wish list and only come to God in the hard times. But it’s in finding true joy in your relationship with your Savior that makes prayer powerful. I love knowing that God is my Abba (daddy) and that I can come to Him with everything, with my joy, my excitement, my concerns and fears. He is always with me and ever present in my life.

Do you believe that prayer is powerful? Do you believe that your prayer can do something powerful? Well it can. I know it can. I have seen it. It is my prayer that you LIVE it! Your life will be transformed, your ministry will be blessed. I’m not saying that poof everything will be perfect in your life, or that every one of your prayers will be answered with a “Yes” from God. I’m saying that you will grow closer to God and that your faith would increase. You will have peace in the decisions you make and will have comfort in knowing God is in control.

Take some time today to look back on the first time you realized God was real, whether it  was when you were a child or an adult. And remember what it was like to have new faith, hold on to it and live each day with that kind of faith. Because “Faith is the doorway to a miracle and Prayer is the key that unlocks the door.”

Pray Big Friends! God’s ready!

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Thankful for a Break

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Laura Milner

_MG_5037.JPG No matter how much you love youth ministry, no matter how passionate you are about making disciples, everyone needs a break. Everyone needs time away from ministry in order to miss it and remember why they love what they do. Also everyone needs time set aside to grow in their spiritual walk with Christ away from the strain of leadership. I am thankful to serve under a youth pastor who values his volunteers and gives us freedom to take breaks.

Just wanted to write a public thank you to Pastor Kevin Lewis. I love what I do, I could easily commit to being at Remedy every week and wouldn’t even think of taking a break. But praise God that Kevin knows that every leader needs a break. I have treasured having the past two weeks at home with family and so thankful that although Remedy starts back up tonight we will be easing into small groups over the next few weeks. Giving the small group leads a chance to just hang out with the teens instead of leading a group right after a break. What a blessing!

There is so much wisdom in allowing breaks for leaders. Giving your leaders a chance once a month or so to stay home or to not have to prepare for a small group lesson, gives them space to find joy in what they do and to have time outside of planning for small groups to spend time in God’s word and grow closer to Christ. At Remedy we have a break about once a month, giving leaders a chance to stay home with family or come to youth group and just hang without having to lead a group. This has been a BIG blessing for my husband and I.

I know for me when I am on break I am able to take more time in my personal devotions to focus on my own growth without the constant thought of how I could use what I am reading to teach. I don’t know why, but it just seems like I have more freedom in my time with God when I’m not focused on how my next small group lesson is going to go. So breaks not only refresh my love for ministry, but renew my love for Christ.

Youth leadership takes commitment and time, and it can get monotonous. Leaders can burn out fast if they don’t take time to rest and regroup. Having sparatic breaks to re-group and re-fall in love with the teens they work with will help you have spiritually healthier and happier youth leaders. Isn’t that what every youth pastor wants?

The last two weeks of small groups in 2011, I was pretty sure my 9th grade girls were trying to kill me or run me out of youth ministry. haha! Haven’t you been there? I needed a break, and now I miss them, really miss them and can’t wait for Remedy tonight. Also I am super pumped for our HUGE out reach event in mid January, United One! Having two weeks off has refueled my fire and I am excited and ready for another year of service in student ministries.

So thank you Kevin! This youth leader is happy to serve with you and excited for another amazing year at Remedy Student Ministries. 2012 is going to ROCK!

Give Your Leaders A Small Break, You Will Have A Happier and Healthier Ministry For It!

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Don’t Take It Personal

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Laura Milner

I’m a passionate person, I love with all my heart and dive head first into everything I do. It’s what makes me a good youth leader, I love the girls I disciple, I give with all my heart and I am all in. However loving with all my heart puts me in jeopardy of having my heart broken on almost a weekly basis. I mean if you’re all in for the teens you work with and love them with everything you have, you are bond to get hurt. When I’ve asked others for advice I hear the same thing over and over again, “Don’t take it personally.”

But that makes no sense to me. How can I passionately pursue the call on my life to love teenagers, tell them about Christ and personally invest in their lives, and then flip the switch and not take it personally when someone hurts me? Every book on discipleship and every training session I have had at a church, I’ve been taught to give my all, to be “all in” for the teens I disciple. Taking it personally is what God called me to do. He put a ache in my heart for lost teenagers, and put a personal call on my life to pursue teens for God’s kingdom. Yet if I am criticized or hurt, I can’t take it personal? That is a major contradiction.

In the decade plus that I have been serving in youth ministry I have learned that it’s ok to take it personally, it’s how you react that will either strengthen you and your ministry or cause you to be on a collision course to burn out.

IMG_7810.JPG It’s not fun when you get criticized by others, you give your time, energy, love and a lot of the time your money to pour into the lives of teenagers in your church. And yet there is always someone who says you’re not doing it right or it could be done better. A lot of the time our first reaction is to say, “Oh, yeah, then you do it!”. You always have a choice, you can get upset and lash out at those people and sometimes you even lash out at your self. Or you can use that criticism as a way to look over your ministry, see if you need to refine something. We are always learning and growing, no ministry is perfect and we can always use a little freshing up. But if you don’t “take it personal” you will always think things are perfect and may never change and grow. Use criticism as a time to give yourself and your ministry a report card. Look over things and see if there needs to be change. If everything is working well, then that’s great. But you may find a area that needs work, that you may not have seen if the critic hadn’t said something.

When you get criticized use it to strengthen your ministry, not to cause you question why you’re doing what you’re doing. If God called you, then He wants you there.

One of the hardest things about youth ministry is loving teenagers and having them break your heart. This is a huge struggle for me. I am very tender hearted and love unconditionally. Which puts me in a place to get hurt and boy have I been hurt. Now again you have a choice, you can either strike back and hurt the person who hurt you, which will quickly push you out of youth ministry. Or you can realize that teenagers have NO idea how much you care, how much you give up and how deeply you love them. So when they say something stupid or push you away they have no idea how much that can hurt you, because they are TEENAGERS and have no clue about how their actions can really hurt someone.

Taking it personally and using your hurt to teach about forgiveness and love is a great way to help them learn and to help you heal. Also having a prayer partner that you can talk to about ministry and the struggles that come with it, helps a lot. Having someone that you can tell your hurt to and who will understand and give you sound council, will help you to see things in perceptive and they will be praying for you. Lashing out at the people who criticize you or hurt you will only cause you to burn out and loose momentum.

Another down fall we get caught up in is taking that hurt and hurting ourselves. Satan is the mastor liar. He wants to take the hurt you may be feeling and turn it into something that hurts you spiritually, make you question God and yourself. If Satan can take your hurt and make you walk away from your call in life, he wins. Satan is truly afraid of you and what you are doing in teens lives. Don’t let him have control over your hurt. You have control! Instead of taking it personally and staying hurt, which only hurts yourself. Take it personally and grow, learn and strengthen your ministry and your walk with Christ. 

The Key is to take that criticism and hurt and use it. Satan wants to stop you from telling teens about Christ and can use criticism and hurt to cause you to walk away from ministry. Don’t let him! Take that hurt and use it to teach, to perfect and to grow.

Changing my perspective on how I take things personally has helped me immensely. Four years ago I was ready to walk away from youth ministry all together because someone hurt me. Thank God I didn’t. Because I wouldn’t know the girls I know today and I wouldn’t be leading teens to Christ. I’m a better leader and a better disciple maker because I take it personally and use it to glorify God.

What are some ways you take hurt and criticism and turn it into a positive and use it to strengthen your ministry instead of hurt it?

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Now Playing…

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Laura Milner

Being inspired for the new year, dreaming and listening to Owl City’s “In Christ Alone”. What are you listening to as you dream build for 2012?

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Is Your Christmas In Focus?

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Laura Milner

IMG_1499.JPG I love photography and  I get inspired to write from awesome photographs. While browsing through photos on my computer I found this bokehed Christmas tree that my husband took. Bokeh pretty much means light that is out of focus. Photographers use this as a cool effect to make you look at things differently or to blur a background making your subject the only thing in focus.

This photo got me thinking about Christmas and how the world has an out of focus view of what Christmas is about. So much commercialism and focus of spending more and getting the “perfect” gift. And what saddens me most is how many Christians have a blurred picture of what Christmas is. Because as believers in Christ we have the hope and the joy of the true meaning of Christmas, but so few take the time to make sure Christ is the focus of their holiday picture.

Now don’t get me wrong, my house is decorated, we’ve gone to many holiday parties, been Christmas present shopping, visited Santa at the mall and done all the fun “Holiday” stuff that most of you have done. But is all that stuff the center of our Christmas? If it were we’d be missing so much.

This past Monday our life group got together and went to “Back To Bethlehem” at The Church at Rocky Peak. It’s a great way to bring Christmas back into focus for our family. Rocky Peak puts on a full scale replica of Bethlehem with actors, animals, sets and everything that makes you go back in time to the night Christ was born. When first walking up to Bethlehem you stopped by shepherds who ask if you’ve seen the angels. You are greeted by tax collectors and Roman soldiers telling you that you need to be counted in the census.  You can visit merchants and by bread and figs. You can learn about basket weaving and bead making. Even on your way out there are wise man camped in tents with trunks of gold and real camels! It’s amazing and a must see if you live in the Southern California area. But what changed Christmas for my daughter was seeing “where” baby Jesus was born.

We were led through rough barn doors into a cave that was cold and covered in hay. And there in a manger was a sweet little baby (real! baby). My daughter couldn’t believe that the Savior of the world was born in a place like that. It gave us so much to talk about and open the bible to show her what it says about Jesus and why He had to be born and why we celebrate Christmas. At that moment Christmas was in focus for our five year old daughter. It wasn’t about the presents or Christmas music or even getting together with family. It was about that baby she saw in the manger, and that He was born to die so she could live in heaven.

I love Christmas and all the fun and sparkle. But if all i did was focus on the “holiday” aspect of Christmas I will have missed everything. Taking the time this time of year to show my children the one true gift is what keeps our Christmas in focus for us. I know there isn’t events like this every where. But you can make Christ your focus this Christmas, by buying less gifts and giving to others in need. You can read through the Christmas story verse by verse on YouVersion on their Rediscovering The Christmas Season. You can also read children’s books about the birth of Christ. We also have a kids nativity set under our tree that our kids can play with and tell the story of the first Christmas. There are so many ways to keep Christ in focus this Christmas.

How Do You Keep Christ In Focus?

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